Has this ever happened to you? You like a guy, so you text him, call him, offer him a ticket to see his favorite band, etc., and he seems interested. He responds to your texts, is really friendly on the phone, goes with you to the show, and then… You don’t hear from him. So, you come up with another idea. You invite him to a party. He goes and seems to have a great time. But then you don’t hear from him. You’ve shown interest. Now it’s his turn. What if he just lets you disappear?

So you come up with another idea to spend time with him, and so it goes. It’s a lot of work. How do you make him do some of the heavy lifting? How do you make him ask you out for a change? Well, what you don’t do is contact him again. You’ve shown interest. Now it’s his turn. There’s a strong possibility that once you stop working so hard and cease showing up on his radar, he may wonder, “Where’s _____________? I miss her.” You don’t hear from him. What if he just lets you disappear?

He may actually come up with a plan meet up with you, for a change. (And, believe me, if he likes you, he will. If he doesn’t initiate plans, do not make excuses for him — “Well, he’s shy,” “He doesn’t make a lot of money,” – or any of that nonsense). When a man is hungry, he makes a sandwich. When a man likes a woman, he asks her out. Now, what if your worst fears are realized, and he doesn’t ask you out? What if he just lets you disappear? You’ve shown interest. Now it’s his turn.

If this happens, it will sting a bit, but please know that everybody (everybody) is rejected at one time or another. Be open to the possibility that he has done you a favor (because you don’t know everything about him, do you?). Understand that by allowing him to make a move (or not), you have cut to the chase and saved yourself a ton of time. If the guy doesn’t like you (or doesn’t have the energy or inclination to make an effort to spend time with you), move on. It’s a lot of work.